Feelings, Opinion, Uncategorized

On Maintaining Friendship

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It’s been so long since the last time I had a meaningful conversation with my friends, especially the ones I used to be close with. I’m not gonna play victim and act as if they treated me so bad and left me behind. In fact, I’ve been acting distant lately, and perhaps so have they. It’s safe to say that I have no faintest idea of how they’re doing if it’s not with the help of Instagram and Twitter. Social media indeed has strange way of making us feel like we still know each other’s life when in reality we barely do anymore.

To begin with, in the past several months I haven’t reached out to some of my friends and haven’t replied to their messages to the point where they might assume I ignored them on purpose. Maybe in a way I did, but not to all of them. Relax. I’m a horrible friend and seriously screwed up. I’m really sorry for that. I’m sorry that things haven’t been so great lately. I might come off as uncaring and selfish. I won’t be surprised if some of them no longer consider me as their friends. I get it. I can’t expect anyone to stick by me when I don’t do my best to keep in touch with them and give them the attention they deserve to get.

Friendships are fragile and require active maintenance, or they’ll die. I guess I’ve let it happen more than once. I started to read some articles about how to maintain a friendship so maybe I can still save the remaining friends that I think I still have. Keeping in touch is said to be the fundamental aspect of it, especially when it comes to maintaining a long lasting friendship. It sounds pretty doable though, but I don’t know how to do it. The people I’ve been best friends with until now are the kind of low maintenance friends, and I’m also a low maintenance friend. We don’t always talk to each other every day. We could go months without seeing each other. But we always give the reassurance that we still have each other.

As a trash texter with mild depression, it’s hard to imagine what I have to do to keep the friendship alive when the very basic thing like reaching out to friends, responding back to their messages, or making phone calls can feel so overwhelming sometimes. My close friends came from various background with various upbringing. Each of them carries different set of personality. I have friend whom I can do crazy things together, and I have friends whom I can sit for hours doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company while telling about our secrets. As much as they seem to be diametrically oppisosite, they’re very understanding towards my habit. They never call me out for being not fun when I’m not really up to do anything. That’s the kind of friends that I need in my 20s. I’m only two years away from quarter life crisis so I’m constantly trying to avoid the gravity to fall into it while preparing myself for the probability of experiencing it. No wonder I’m always exhausted.

Talking to my friends has tremendous benefits for my health and psychological well being, as well as broaden my knowledge and perspective. But the crux of the matter is, what kind of friends? Obviously not the ones who drain my energy, make me feel uncomfortable, guilty, insecure, and remind me of all the things I don’t want to be associated with anymore. Even though I’ve forgotten about why I stopped talking to certain people, not all of it was due to some major or minor problems. Sometimes it just happened. We lost the interest to continue the conversation, we started to reply a little longer than usual and finally we never heard anything from each other until our birthday –if we both happened to know each other’s birthday and remember it.

Humans are changing throughout life. The friends you used to do crazy things together apparently have changed and no longer into it. They friends you used to see eye to eye might no longer be on the same page as you about everything, or no longer share the same interest, value, and point of view, which later cause the friendship to be no longer enjoyable. The friends whom you used to stay up late with and talk about everything became person you no longer feel comfortable to spill your guts to.

After witnessing the end of my friendship with a few people, I came to realization that not all friendships are meant to last forever, no matter how good it used to be. Sometimes things are better left as mere memories. We aren’t meant to keep every friend we make, sometimes their chapter in your life is done because they only belong to certain version of yourself. Maybe someday they will end up showing up again in another chapters of your life.

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Uncategorized

The Liebster Award

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Two months ago, Sunny Irene from suncafes nominated my blog for the Liebster Award. I’m sorry it took me so long to response to it since I wasn’t really sure whether I’d love to do this kind post or not. But seeing all her questions intrigued me to give it a try. This is the very first award that my blog has ever been nominated for, so thank you very much for choosing me to be one of the nominees. Make sure to check her blog as soon as you’re done reading this post. Before writing this post, I did a little research about this award and stumbled upon The Global Aussie blog. According to it, the Liebster Awards is an award given to bloggers by other bloggers to give other blogs more exposure to the internet. I just knew that there’s a winner of it (they said the winning blog would win a prize too, hmm sounds interesting). The rules of this award are:

  1. Acknowledge the blog who nominated you;
  2. Answer the 11 questions that your nominator has asked you;
  3. Nominate 11 other bloggers;
  4. Ask them 11 questions;
  5. Let them know that you have nominated them.

And here are my answers to her questions:

  1. How long have you been blogging? – I’ve been blogging on and off since high school, switching from one account to another, trying various platforms from blogspot to tumblr, and now to wordpress. But my current blog is my first blog that I take care quite seriously and it has been a year and three months, which is quite an accomplishment for me since my previous blogs only lasted for less than six months.
  2. What do you spend waaaay too much money on? – Foods (especially spicy chicken wings!!), makeups, and skincare. But mostly chicken wings because I’m hungry all the time and I eat like a horse.
  3. What is a fun fact about you? – It might sound stupid but I’m having difficulty in remembering routes and places. I wouldn’t be surprised if I couldn’t find my way back to the main road after going to my friend’s place –if it’s not located in the main road, even if I’ve visited it for more than three times. I can get a perfect GPA but I can’t be trusted to help you reach somewhere, unless you don’t mind to get lost with me. It can be pretty embarrassing sometimes. If anyone here have any tips for me please let me know.
  4. Where is a place you escape to? – Beach! Since my home is only 50 minutes away from the nearest beach.
  5. What is something you have been aiming to try or do but have not gotten around to it? – Learning to play drums! I hope I’m not old enough for this. As much as I love drummers (yeah I have drummer fettish), I’d love to be able to play it by myself –and meet the cool drummers as well! 😉
  6. Do you like your name? Why or why not? – Yes, I do. Very much. Despite the fact that million of people named Nadya as well. In Russian, it means hope. My friends believe that it has something to do with my bad habit that is giving false hope to some guys. And also, I love the definition of my name that I found on urbandictionary!kkkkkkk
  7. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? – Sinking into oblivion and leading a rootless existence.
  8. Do you have a favorite sports team? – Ummm no, I don’t. I don’t really like sports either.
  9. You wake up suddenly in the night. What sound would be the scariest to hear after you realize you are awake? – The sound of dog’s late night barking. Many dog owners said that dogs could sense the supernatural so it’s kind of scared to imagine what kind of creature that it saw. But again, dogs will start barking at things that they find unusual so it doesn’t always mean there is a ghost or something. But I’m still scared, though.
  10. What is your favorite type of cuisine? – Indonesian food ❤
  11. Give a title for the current chapter of you life. – Self discovery

Now that I’m done answering 11 questions, it’s my turn to nominate 11 other blogs. I know not everyone likes to do this so it’s ok if you choose not to take it. And the nominees are:

Here are my questions for you:

  1. Why did you start blogging?
  2. How long have you been blogging and what has kept you going until now?
  3. Do you honestly read every post that you like?
  4. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
  5. What is one interesting fact about you?
  6. Do you want to be famous? Why or why not?
  7. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go and why?
  8. Do you have any hidden talents? If so, what?
  9. What’s your idea of a perfect date?
  10. What is your favorite way to relax?
  11. To what extent do you trust people?

I’m so sorry if any of you have been nominated before. Please let me know once you’ve answered my questions so I can check them out.

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