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A Closure

Hello A,

How are you? I don’t know what you’ve been up to recently, but I’d always love to imagine you somewhere being happy with the life that you live, because that’s how I want you to always be.

I’m not one to share my feeling and thought to you. You know that, right? And now that a few things have changed between us, it’d be weird if I suddenly reach out to you and tell you things that happened in my life after you’re gone because…it’s not your business anymore. Duh. So from now on, my post will no longer be about you. And as a closure for what had ended between us, let me tell you something that has just begun in my life.

A, I met someone. He’s nice, funny, and has the best heart. He has a mysterious way of making me feel safe. Safety; it’s something that I had been searching for so long in a person, and I didn’t find it elsewhere before him. Can you imagine how ecstatic I am to have met him? Well, maybe ecstatic is an understatement. I’m a firm believer that without the feeling of safety, you will never be able to open up and be the true version of yourself in front of your partner. And he, with everything he has, makes me feel safe. That’s a good thing, right?

I used to be scared of opening up myself to others. The concept of letting someone see the ugly side of me is really terrifying. Maybe that’s why I always pushed away those who tried to get to know me better. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t that open to anyone about my very personal issue. I was too scared to do all that. But he, he has a strange way to encourage me to show my vulnerability. He has a strange way to make me feel safe enough to feel again.

I had a hard time accepting myself but he accepts me in ways I couldn’t even do myself. He loves me in ways I couldn’t even imagine. I started to think that if there’s a person who could love me like that, then why couldn’t I love myself?

Now I can finally love myself, even just for a bit. And that’s because he showed me that someone could still love me for who I am, and accept me with my ugly side and dark past.

A, I love him. I love him so much. I thought I’ve become disinterested in falling in love and caring for someone. I thought my cold, dysfunctional heart would never be able to love someone again. Apparently, I was wrong. I’m falling in love with him. My love for him is real and I want to keep him in my life for as long as possible.

A, if you ever read this, please keep in mind that I’m grateful for everything that once we had. You’ll always be one of my good friends. Now I just want to let you know that I’m so happy with him and I hope you’re always happy too, wherever you are, with whoever she is.

Goodbye.

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